itsdetachable:

pancakereport:

Date someone who will let you fall asleep in their car, drive the whole time, be okay with it, and avoid the holes so you sleep fine.

Bonus points if they curse the government for not using their taxes to fill the holes with more cement while they do it

gothlynz:

looking for a boyfriend who: likes horror movies, punk, has pretty eyes, plays in a band, first name frank last name iero,

screamingbloody-murder:

4nal-ashby:

MY GIRLFRIEND IS SLEEPING NEXT TO ME AND SHE ROLLED OVER AND WAS FEELING AROUND THE BED SO I STUCK MY HAND OUT AND SHE GRABBED IT AND SHES HOLDING MY HAND WHILE SLEEPING SHES SO CUTE FUUCK

This. Is. Goals.

trashrabbits:

I will outscream the cicadas

airlesscell:

Ideal relationship: we are chill and quiet together

nirvana-lucas:

michael is like that disgruntled and constantly annoyed asshole cat who hates everyone but comes up to you when no one is looking and hopes you pet him

gingersnapwolves:

perfectparamour:

fastpacedfreefall:

ave-aria:

scaredpotter:

the slytherins making a drinking game where they take a shot every time draco malfoy talks about harry potter

Madam Pomfrey banning the drinking game the very next day, after 90% of Slytherin house is admitted to the hospital wing with alcohol poisoning

#She drags Albus Dumbledore down to the hospital wing to show him the damage#Slytherin classes have been cancelled for the day as nearly everyone is here#too drunk to function#most are silent#but a few will occasionally look off into the distance with a sneer#and under their breaths#in the most disdainful and haughty voice they can manage#will mutter#POTTER#causing a fit of giggles to ripple through the room#Dumbledore agrees to ban the game and makes the announcement at dinner that evening#the only Slytherin in the Great Hall at that time is#of course#Malfoy#who turns red and immediately mutters that obviously this is Potter’s fault#Snape takes a shot#Harry Potter (x)

Oh my god it got so much better.

Snape takes a shot

animateglee:

closing the 20 tabs you used for a finished essay = euphoric calmness

rnychemicalromance:

takemetennant:

rnychemicalromance:

it’s time. get out your pumpkins and knives. it’s time to be the jack-o-lanterns in july.

On the Fourth of July

but how will we be both fireworks and jack o lanterns

urlocalplant:

im sitting in a coffee shop alone……..where r all the witty feminist art boys n why arent they falling in love w me

sickfake:

*picks a fight with someone i really love for absolutely no reason other than my constant need to destroy every relationship around me* this is fine

saltcaramels:

Turns out that adulthood is basically a long series of conversations about how tired you are, interspersed with smiling sympathetically as someone else tells you how tired they are (but you’re thinking they are not nearly as tired as you).

edens-blog:

i remember in 6th grade public school one of my friends in the class used the word “bungalow” as often as possible and every time he needed to say “house” or “home” he swapped it for “bungalow” and me and the rest of the class thought it was so fucking funny.

so everyone in the class started using it too like saying “I brought my lunch from the bungalow today” or whatever and the teachers HATED IT.

it started getting out of hand when we were learning about the presidents and we often needed to say “the White House” so of course we would say “the White Bungalow” and the teacher was so furious and then there was a ban on the word and if anyone said it they were sent to the office and I remember the kid who started all the bullshit one time got in trouble for something petty like sharing his homework and the teacher said that she was going to call home to him mom and he just stood up and cried out “No, ms_____! Please don’t call home!”

and there was this huge silence because he just raised his voice at the teacher

and then a huge smile spread across his face and he said

“call bungalow instead.”

and I swear the whole class rioted it was amazing

ofmicnmen:

learning2swim:

I think relationships in general are over romanticized like at the end of the day I’m pretty sure a good relationship is just two people who know how to hang out and talk to each other not whether or not they can right all your wrongs or paint a picture of a thousand suns with the breath from your lungs or some shit

THANK YOU

unregardless:

How come in movies with apocalyptic situations there’s always graffiti everywhere like “god save us” and “this is the end” like who the fuck has time for that put your can of spray paint away jimmy and get in the fucking van we’re trying to evacuate